Amor Platonico

Recently, a friend text me, "you and __ have been roommates for a long time. have any of your past relationships ever been insecure or question that relationship?" I get this question in various forms all the time so I thought that I would address it.

First of all, I should clarify a few things. Yes, he is a heterosexual male and I am a bisexual female. We've known each other for about eight years. We met while working together, got along right away and have been friends ever since. We've lived together for about three years now and No, nothing has ever happened between us romantically. I sleep in my room and he sleeps in his room except for nights when I fall asleep on the couch or when one of us doesn't come home.

I think that we've been able to live together this long because we have more than a few things in common. We hate being cold so the air conditioner stays off for most of the Summer and we keep it at about 80 degrees during the Winter. We're both a little messy and we're both night owls. We're both very social and like to go out and have fun. I cook and he eats...and he does the dishes which I appreciate because I hate doing them. I'm a little bit of a princess in that I've probably taken out the garbage all of 5 times since I started living here and I'm really only responsible for my room . But, trust me, he eats very well.

We're roommates and as such we give each other fashion tips before heading out for the evening, have late night chats about dating, mating and relating and vent to each other about work and family annoyances.

I answered my friend's question by simply stating that it may have been an issue initially but if that person was around us long enough to see how we are with one another, then they'd realize that we're really nothing more than very good friends.

In truth, I think that it has been more of an issue for him to have me here and have to explain why and how he lives with an attractive, young woman than for me to explain why and how I live with an attractive, young man. On occasion, I've come home to find my bedroom door closed; a dead giveaway that he's had "new" company--a girl that doesn't yet know about me. However, he's never once complained or asked me to leave. In a way, having me here helps him weed out the insecure ones and his presence does the same to help me.

In conclusion, I can't say that platonic relationships work for everyone but ours works for us. He really is the little, older brother that I never really wanted. We have our moments when we disagree but for the most part things work out just fine.

One of the Boys

For as long as I can remember I've just been one of the boys. I was one of those little girls whose family thought she'd be permanently scarred for life because I was always climbing and falling out of trees and hopping fences. I stayed cut up, bruised, scraped and usually bleeding from some injury that resulted from an outdoor activity that I insisted on performing on pavement instead of in the grass where the worst thing I could get was a few green stains and dirt that could easily be washed away.

My great aunt told me once that I'd never be a super model with scars like that on my knees. I didn't much care because I really wanted to be a tennis player or invent my own sport at which only my best friend Mario and I were good. I wanted the tree house in the yard where no girls were allowed--except me of course. And although I spent hours carefully dressing, bathing and braiding the hair of every doll I owned, as soon as I hit the yard, I was a different child. You couldn't tell me that I could do something or go somewhere because I was a girl because there was absolutely nothing that I couldn't do. I didn't care if I got hurt or my hair got messed up as long as I was included in the fun.

Today, things have changed physically but the inside remains the same. I've wiped the dirt from my face, covered my scars with makeup and voluntarily wear dresses on occasion. However, I'm still more comfortable hanging with my guys. I trust them and, in a weird way, I depend on them during times when I feel like I can't depend on anyone else. They make me laugh, they've wiped my tears, they've protected me from less trustworthy men and they've given me the kind of advice that women can't because of how little we understand men.

If you ever have the privilege of walking into a club with me and you notice that I hug and kiss damn near every guy in there, please don't assume the worst. Know for a fact that I'm friends with almost each and every one of them and be as honored as I am just to be in their presence.

To all my boys, I love you and to all my girls who don't know what it's like to be one of the boys, I pity you because you'll never understand.