It's becoming increasingly more difficult to let go and give myself over completely to someone. What's funny is that I was just talking recently about this phenomenon with some friends. See if you can relate:
Ever notice that a woman is most open to being in love when she's in her early twenties? By the age of twenty-five things begin to change and by twenty-seven she is so jaded that it is highly likely that she will either end up single for the rest of her life or married for the wrong reasons.
In Black America, it is difficult to find a twenty-seven year old woman that is single with no children and finding a SBF with no children that isn't completely jaded because of numerous failed relationships is even harder. Women at that age are less trusting, more independent, and carry emotional scar tissue all for good reason. They trust less and expect less because having high expectations sets them up for a let-down; they're more independent because depending on another person puts them in a vulnerable situation and often opens them up to the possibility of having to deal with financial challenges when the relationship ends.; they wear emotional scar tissue like battle armor to protect themselves from getting hurt yet again.
I am quickly approaching this profound Age of Jade and, at this point, wholeheartedly agree that marriage no longer appears to be an option and love is becoming the biggest cosmic joke ever told. I'm contemplating the possibility of being one of those successful, independent women that has the house, car and dog and just needs to add carefully chosen sperm to the old oven and bake for nine months in order to have everything that I want out of life. I still have a little time to believe that maybe--just maybe--I want to share all of that with someone special but once I hit the big "2-7" I may just accept my membership card into the House of Jaded Women.
It's not an impossibility or cosmic joke to have the love you want and deserve. The biggest issue we have as young people especially young black people is that we take God out of the decision making process when it comes to dating and we certainly remove the friendship component. We jump to intimacy too soon bypassing the truly getting to know you step that is so necessary in relationships. Proverbs says that "There are friends who destroy each other but a real friend sticks closer than a sibling. In relationships how often have you had the destructive person in your life? The litmus test is when the person sticks by you no matter what. The true lover will propel you to purpose and help you reach your God-given destiny while the wrong one will distract you and dissuade you from it. You're right, the age of jade is real but I want to entreat all women to let that go. You're not an old maid at 27 and although it may seem impossible there are some nice single brothers out here looking for "Mrs. Right too"... Just remember all things happen in God's time and not your own... Be faithful and remember that you don't know the plans God has for you but He has plans to prosper you, not harm you, give you the hope and future you deserve.
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